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| For my graduation party, I really wanted to have a fire pit so that at night, my friends and I could watch fire flames ravish some good sized fire wood. Luckily, I have a very great step-dad who was willing (very excitedly willing might I add) to make me a fire pit in my back yard so that this could happen. The night that Jerry ( my step-daddy ) made this, my Grampie decided to come up and check it out. You have to understand what type of man my grandfather is. One- he's very lonely because my nannie passed away 2 1/2 years ago. Two- Very stubborn and hard headed but at the same time, the most loving man I've ever known. Everybody was sitting by the camp fire, my beautiful mother, my step-daddy, my grampie , my amazing boy friend and I, having a couple of drinks (not me or the boy fran but everybody else). We were all just sitting around the fire talking about old times, good times, new times, times to come. Atleast two hours had passed and my Mom and Jerry decided it was time to go inside to mix drinks and Kory (the boy friend) decided to go inside to check his computer.
As you can see, this left just me and Gramp sittin by the fire. Silence was in the air for about, 3 minutes and still staring into the fire my Grampie says, "Oh Kayla Gwen, I miss your grandmother so much." One- I couldn't say anything because my heart felt like it tightened 100x more than it should have and Two- I was trying to keep myself from letting out loud sobs of saddness. This isn't the first time that my Grampie has ever told me this but, for some reason, at that very moment, I felt so hurt for my grandfather. And after all of those emotions went through me, he says, "She was the only woman I've ever loved. When I fell for her I fell hard." Which caused more tears to well up in my eyes and my heart to tighten with pain even more. After about five minutes of silence and staring into the fire, trying to hold back sobbing still, I managed to spit out "How did you and Nannie meet?" He went on to tell me that he was older than his brother and nannie both, they were a grade below him, so when they were seniors, he let them take his car to school and Nannie would pay so much for gas. But everytime he saw her he just liked her more and more. And listening to this story, I was completely amazed at all the feelings that my grampie has inside of him. My grandfather is not the type of man to really show his emotion, it took him a long time to say i love you to us grandkids growing up. But he finally says it everyday.
Anyways.. we finished up our conversation and everybody came back outside again and we moved on to a different topic but what I really wanted to say to my Grampie was; "I'm so sorry you hurt grampie, If there was anything I do to take the pain away from you I would." So here it goes.
Dear Grampie,
I am so sorry that you hurt as much as you do. If there was anything in this world that I could do to take that empty, lonely, painful feeling in your heart and throw it away, I would do it faster than you could blink. I really would. I'm sorry that I don't always answer the phone when you call. Or I'm not always home when you stop by, to distract that pain from your heart. You're the most amazing man I have ever known (aside from my Daddy =]) and I really look up to you, I always have. I have always been and I will always be a Grampies girl. If there was one thing that I wanted you to know, I would want you to know that I love you with everything I have and I feel like I am the luckiest granddaughter in the world because I have you as my grampie. And I am very honored to have my Nannie's name as my middle name because she was an incredible woman, and was very lucky to have you as a husband. You sure did pick a winner and she would be very proud of you for making it the way you have for the last two years. I love you Grampie, with my whole heart.
Love, Kayla Gwen
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| i would probably haunt my boyfriends ex girlfriend for making both of our lives hell.. yes..indeed.
I just answered this Featured Question; you can answer it too! | | |
| Defiance-a daring or bold resistance to authority or to any opposing force.
Sometimes I wish I was born in the 1920's so by the 1940's I could experience the war in Germany. Call me strange, but I've always had an obsession with the Holocaust. I've always had an obsession with natural disaster. And even though they're the most ugliest things in the universe, I find them to be the most beautiful things in the world. And to tell you the honest truth, I really don't know why.
I watched a movie tonight called Defiance. It was basically about Jewish people migrating to the forest to save their lives and there is one leader (played by Daniel Craig) who is very daring and bold. Clearly, Daniel Craig was supposed to be the main character, the one your heart is supposed to go out to because he's so strong and brave and helps save the lives of many of the starving, slowly dying people that were with him. But that's not who my heart went out to. My heart went out to the starving, slowly dying people. A woman, who started out kind of bigger, ended up looking like a skeleton. Just a blanket of skin covering her bones loosely, begging for the meat that was once there. Two teenagers who fell in love because the natural disaster brought them together, but they soon had to be separated so that he could go fight to keep the new community alive, not knowing if he would live or die because of the heartless German guards who were forced to kill any Jew that passed them on the same, earthly ground that they both live on. I mean honestly, this isn't the worst part of the Holocaust. There are concentration camps, etc, which I'll share my opinion on that later. But seriously. If you were a Jewish person, who was a human being like the rest of us trying to save your own life, what would you do? I know I said that I thought natural disasters were beautiful but, I honestly don't think I could be that strong in one. Maybe I feel that natural disasters are beautiful when I'm watching them, not in them. Which probably makes me low but do you see my point?
But if you were starving, dirty, cold in the winter times, getting sick with no cure.. what would you do? Would you say hey, God has let me live this long so I must keep going on, or would you try to end it? Would you walk into the place that you know is dangerous, where you know there are heartless German soldiers just standing there waiting to kill you with no feelings left after they do so? Would you sacrifice your food for somebody who was more in need for it or would you be selfish and scarf it down even if you felt stronger, and maybe didn't need it as much? Would your belief in God (if you had any to begin with) disappear because you don't understand why this is happening to you? Because it seems that at that moment, while you're watching your country disintegrate by the bombs and guns, there is no way out... that it will never end. That there is no light at the end of the tunnel so there is no point of going on to try and see it. Or would you sit on a log in the forest everyday and pray to God, thanking him each and everyday that you're alive and count it as a blessing and then realize in that moment that there's a reason you're still there, that there is a point to go on and maybe, just maybe, you'll be free one day from the hurt, the pain and the suffering. In this movie, some men had left their families behind to rejoin their original families ( such as brothers and sisters etc.) Would you leave your family behind to be with your original one just to hear later on that they died because you weren't there? And if you answer yes in your mind to this question, why? Why would you leave your wife and children or husband and children behind just to save yourself? Is it because they would slow your process down while you were trying to escape the now burdened country? Or is it because you felt there was no escape anyways so you would just leave them there for somebody to kill so you didn't have to go through the torture of seeing them die?
And why not head to the topic of concentration camps. (wikipedia)Millions of prisoners died in the concentration camps through mistreatment, disease, starvation, overwork or were executed as unfit for labor. More than three million Jews died in them, usually in gas chambers, although many were killed in mass shootings and by other means. But descriptions can't even begin to describe what they were really like. And obviously, i can't tell you I do know what it's like. I can't tell you how it feels to be torn apart from your mom and dad and maybe even your brother or sister to all the sudden be alone. I can't tell you what it's like to be doing work that the people who follow Hitler order you to do that is way too much work for my size and physically and mentally and emotionally exhausts me. I can't. I can only imagine. There were poor precious girls who were raped by the guards. Precious girls who weren't even old enough to lose their innocence. There were precious boys probably being raped too. Precious boys getting beat because they may not be big enough to be as strong as they wanted. Children being beat for not laying in the right bed or maybe because they forgot to do one little piece of work that probably wouldn't even matter in two hours. Children who were starved because to the "higher ups", they don't even matter. Now I'm no expert, I don't know my facts, but from my history classes, this is what is said and shown on videos. Heartless people just took bulldozers and shoved the dead corpses into piles then into a big hole, only to be covered by a big pile of dirt. And then Adolf Hitler comitted suicide. And even though my thoughts make me just as bad as everybody during that time who was killing, I hate to admit that I wish Adolf hadn't commited suicide... that Jewish men would have found him and gave him a long, slow, very very painful death. Starve him like he made his men starve innocent people. Beat him like he made his men beat innocent people. Rape him like he made his men rape innocent people. Kill him like he made his men kill innocent people.
I'm not quite sure what the point of this blog is. I'm just expressing myself I guess. But the way our generation is going, I feel that the world is just going to end like this. In a war. People repeating everything going on. The starving, the suffering, the torturing, the rape, the beating, the killing. I believe we will end in war, watching our world burn until it's gone. And there is nothing, nothing at all that we can do to stop this. | | |
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